Tropic Blunder
by animationiscool
Summary: Rocky and Bullwinkle go on a vacation to Moosylvania. However, Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader are planning to invade the island.
1. No Moose is an Island

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions**

**Tropic Blunder or No Moose is an Island  
**

Narrator: Our story begins in Pottsylvania, the home of that terrible trio, Boris Badenov, Natasha Fatale, and Fearless Leader. Since it is overrun by spies and a villain who wants to take over the world, the place is very dark and dreary. Which explains the lush plant life, wildlife, bright sunlight, and... wait a minute, what is this?

Natasha: We are in a jungle, narrator dollink.

Narrator: Okay, but what are you doing in a jungle?

Boris: Our boss told us that one of his spies found a secret formula here. It is so top secret that we are not supposed to tell anyone.

Narrator: You just told me about it.

Boris: Raskolnikov!

Fearless Leader: Badenov, you numbskull! What have I told you about secret formulas?

Boris: Uh, telling someone about them doesn't make them secrets anymore?

Fearless Leader: Exactly.

* * *

Narrator: It seems that the no-goodniks have yet another plan to take over the world and endanger our heroes. Speaking of our heroes, Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle J. Moose, are completely unaware of this plot.

Bullwinkle: The story has a plot?

Rocky: Bullwinkle, our stories always have plots.

Bullwinkle: That's not what Captain Peachfuzz told me.

Rocky: Captain Peachfuzz isn't exactly what I'd call a reliable source of information.

Bullwinkle: He sure is! He taught me how to use binoculars.

* * *

*Flashback*

Bullwinkle and Captain Peachfuzz are sailing on the sailor's boat, the S.S. Guppy, around Frostbite Falls.

Captain Peter "Wrong Way" Peachfuzz: Yar!

Bullwinkle: You're not a pirate.

Peachfuzz: I'm not?

Bullwinkle: No, you're a sailor.

Peachfuzz: Anyway, can you look out for icebergs for me?

Bullwinkle: Sure!

He climbs to the lookout point on the ship, and holds a pair of binoculars.

Peachfuzz: You're doing it wrong.

Bullwinkle: Really?

Peachfuzz: That is _not _how to use binoculars. I'll show how expert sea captains like me use them.

He climbs to the lookout point, and holds the binoculars backwards.

Peachfuzz: _This _is how to use binoculars.

Bullwinkle: Thanks, Captain Peachfuzz! Hey, wait a minute, if you're up here then who's steering the ship?

Peachfuzz: Huh?

The S.S. Guppy proceeds to hit an iceberg and sink.

*End Flashback*

* * *

Narrator: Meanwhile, at an undisclosed tropical location our villains see a sinister shadow moving across the trees.

Natasha: Boris dollink, we will finally be able to see Mr. Big!

Fearless Leader: No, you two cannot see him.

Boris: But we have worked for him for two evil schemes years ago, and we never knew what he looks like.

Fearless Leader: Mr. Big said that he would not give us the formula unless you left.

Boris and Natasha: Yes, boss.

Narrator: After the sneaky spies leave, a certain pint sized mobster appears.

Mr. Big: Good day, Fearless Leader. Nice weather we're having.

Fearless Leader: Likewise. Now, do you have the formula?

Mr. Big: I love tropical weather, don't you?

Fearless Leader: Yeah, sure, but you promised-

Mr. Big: The scenery and overall atmosphere is much better than gloomy Pottsylvania.

Fearless Leader: Get to the bloody point!

Mr. Big: Eheheheheh, messing with you is very easy. Anyway, I will get the formula for you.

Mr. Big leaves and comes back with a normal sized vial. Of course, since he is three inches tall, it is much larger than he is.

Fearless Leader: Excellent! With this new invention, I will use it to rule the world!

Mr. Big: I think we forgot something.

Fearless Leader: Really?

Mr. Big: Yes. We should test the new formula, to find out what it can do.

Fearless Leader: Why don't you try it?

Mr. Big: Me? I am not going to drink that thing! What if it has bad side effects, like shrinking my head?

Fearless Leader: You don't have to worry about having a shrunken head. Your head is small enough as it is.

Mr. Big: I resent that!

* * *

Narrator: While the villains engage in a perfectly normal conversation involving secret formulas and shrunken heads, Rocky and Bullwinkle are in Frostbite Falls.

Bullwinkle: Not for long.

Narrator: Okay, so where are you going?

Rocky: We're going on a vacation to Moosylvania.

Bullwinkle: And getting free reservations there should be easy, since I'm the governor.

Rocky: Which explains why no one lives there.

Bullwinkle: What?

Rocky: Nothing.

Narrator: And so, the squirrel and the goofy governor sail on their boat, the Ruby Yacht of Omar Khayyam, to the isolated island of Moosylvania.

Bullwinkle: Hey! I'm not goofy. Hm, I don't have a title for my position yet. Oh, I know! From now on, in Moosylvania you can call me the Governator.

Rocky: That's already taken.

Bullwinkle: Okay. How about the Mooseinator?

Rocky: That isn't exactly what I would call a professional name. How about Governor Bullwinkle, or just Bullwinkle?

Bullwinkle: Fine, be uncreative. I'll be talking to the writers about this.

* * *

Narrator: The inseparable pair of adventurers land safely on the island of Moosylvania. However, a certain other inseparable pair of adventurers may not be so lucky.

Edgar: See, Chauncey? Sailing without a compass or a map is a really, _really _bad idea.

Chauncey: Sorry, Edgar. I just thought we could try roughing it.

Edgar: Roughing it doesn't mean forgetting to bring something for navigation.

Chauncey: Well, Captain Peachfuzz can't navigate and he's a good adventurer, right?

The captain sails past them.

Peachfuzz: Hi!

His boat crashes into a huge rock, and it sinks.

Peachfuzz (underwater): Bye!

Chauncey: ...We're done for, aren't we?

Edgar: Probably.

Narrator: At least Captain Peachfuzz can swim. And fortunately for Chauncey and Edgar, the two guys who change jobs in every episode and the world's best observers, have a relatively safe landing.

Both: Owch!

They slowly get up.

Chauncey: That wasn't exactly a safe landing, Mr. Narrator.

Edgar: Now there's something you don't see everyday, Chauncey.

Chauncey: What's that, Edgar?

Edgar: Apparently we landed on Moosylvania.

Chauncey: How do you know that?

Edgar: There's the governor.

Bullwinkle: Hi, Chauncey and Edgar! It's great that Rocky and I have some friends for our vacation. It gets kind of lonely here, since nobody wants to live on my island.

Edgar: Why aren't I surprised?

They hear footsteps.

Chauncey: If nobody lives here, then who's that?

Rocky: I don't know, but we should hide. It could be Boris and Natasha.

Bullwinkle: Rocky, you're just being paranoid. They were never in Moosylvania.

Rocky: Yes they were. Fearless Leader tried to invade your island.

Bullwinkle: But I thought he only wanted to take over the world.

Chauncey: Uh, I'm not a Jet Fuel Formula scientist, but Moosylvania would be part of the world.

Bullwinkle: Oh, I get it. I think.

* * *

Narrator: After hearing footsteps, they see a strange light that could be the no-goodniks. our heroes and observers hide by disguising themselves as a totem pole. The order from the bottom to the top is Bullwinkle, Chauncey, Edgar, and Rocky.

Bullwinkle: So it's sort of an order of intelligence?

Chauncey: I guess so.

Edgar: I'm kind of worried.

Rocky: Because there's a whole bunch of spies after us?

Edgar: Yeah, but I'm also worried because this is implying that a squirrel is smarter than I am. No offence, Rocky.

Rocky: None taken.

Narrator: Captain Peachfuzz, who somehow recovered from _crashing into a rock_ in an incredibly short amount of time, walks past them. Since it is very dark out at night, he is carrying a torch.

Captain Peachfuzz: What a funny looking totem pole.

Chauncey: How rude.

Peachfuzz: Huh? What was that?

Rocky: Um, it was the wind.

Edgar: And "the wind" told you that you're holding your torch upside down.

Peachfuzz: Really?

Narrator: Upon closer inspection, the sea captain sees that he is indeed holding the torch upside down. Let's see how long it takes for him to notice.

Peachfuzz: ...

*5 minutes later*

Peachfuzz: ...Yeowch!

Narrator: Our ever so alert sea captain drops the flaming torch and runs away. Suddenly, they encounter a bear. But it isn't a normal bear...

Stokey the Bear: Only you can not prevent forest fires!

All: Stokey the Bear?

Rocky: We're doomed...

Narrator: Will our heroes be able to escape from Stokey the Bear, that fire starting bear from the banned episode of Dudley Do-Right? What jungle are the no-goodniks in? Could they be on the tropical island of Moosylvania. What what exactly is a bear from the Dudley Do-Right episodes that starts forest fires doing here? Be sure to stay tuned next time for, "Live and Let Fry" or "Dial A for Arson".


	2. Live and Let Fry

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.**

**Live and Let Fry or Dial A for Arson**

Narrator: Well, our heroes' vacation in Moosylvania seems to be going smoothly.

Chauncey: If you don't count Stokey the Bear.

Narrator: Right, except for Stokey the Bear. Stokey is a seven hundred pound bear who wears a Mountie hat. But his most distinguishing feature is his habit of randomly starting fires, which caused a lot of trouble for a certain moronic Mountie, not to mention the censors.

Rocky: Wait a minute, wasn't Stokey in a Dudley Do-Right episode?

Stokey the Bear: I sure was! But I was only in one episode, and didn't show up again for years. I'm not sure why, but it might have something to do with my habit.

Edgar: Wow, really? Who would have guessed?

Narrator: Luckily his arsonous plans are thwarted when it starts to rain.

Bullwinkle: Is arsonous a real word?

Narrator: No, not really.

Bullwinkle: Anyway, this rainfall sure is convenient.

Snidely Whiplash: Oh curses, foiled again!

All: Snidely Whiplash?

Snidely: Yes, it is I, Snidely Whiplash!

Rocky: What are you doing here?

Bullwinkle: Yeah, usually you're tying Nell to the railroad tracks or somethin'.

Snidely: I was hired by a certain someone to get rid of a "Moose and Squirrel".

Rocky: That "certain someone" was Fearless Leader, right?

Snidely: Yeah. And Stokey is one of my rarely used lackeys. In fact, this bear was supposed to start a fire.

Stokey: I can explain, boss. It started to rain, and starting a fire when it's raining wouldn't work.

Snidely: You're right. Oh well, we can always bother Do-Right and his friends instead.

Snidely disappears in the trees and looks for Dudley. Stokey follows him.

* * *

Narrator: Meanwhile, Fearless Leader and Mr. Big are plotting in an undisclosed location in an unknown jungle. But the mosquitoes are rampant in this type of climate. Coincidentally, it also happens to be raining.

Mr. Big: You couldn't afford a war room?

Fearless Leader: Pottsylvania has had a lot of budget cuts recently. Besides, a deep, dark jungle is very atmospheric. I thought you enjoyed tropical weather.

Mr. Big: You despise me, don't you?

Fearless Leader: Yes, you're right. Now, our plan to invade Moosylvania is to use this newly discovered secret formula, which is capable of-

Mr. Big: Wait, we are being spied on!

Narrator: Really? I don't see anyone else here...

They are both looking at the narrator.

Narrator: ...Oh, I get it. I'm the "intruder", right?

Mr. Big: Get lost!

Narrator: Okay, fine. I know when I'm not wanted-

Fearless Leader: Shut up or we will arrest you!

Narrator: Sorry.

* * *

Narrator: Our heroes bravely dealt with Snidely Whiplash and Stokey the Bear by being very lucky that it rained.

Bullwinkle: I guess we really rained on their parade!

His friends roll their eyes.

Bullwinkle: What? I thought that pun was pretty good.

Narrator: Bullwinkle's pun is debatable, but the rainfall was pretty good. But now they know that Fearless Leader is once again attempting to invade Moosylvania.

Bullwinkle: At least someone likes my island.

Rocky: What's his plan, Mr. Narrator?

Narrator: I don't know.

Chauncey: Are you hiding something from us?

Narrator: No. Fearless Leader and Mr. Big forced me to leave before they revealed what their new secret formula does. They said they would arrest me.

Edgar: He's probably telling the truth, Chauncey. That sounds like something Fearless Leader would do.

Rocky: I agree. We shouldn't be too suspicious.

Bullwinkle: But Rocky, you frequently accuse people of being Boris and Natasha.

Rocky: That's because they usually _are _Boris and Natasha. Those two follow us everywhere.

Bullwinkle: You're exaggerating. I'll bet they're not tying to catch us as we speak.

* * *

Narrator: Bullwinkle lost that bet, because as they speak, Boris and Natasha are waiting for their boss to conclude his appointment with Mr Big. While impatiently waiting, the spies with short attention spans are searching for the Moose and Squirrel.

Natasha: Boris, do you think we will coincidentally find Moose and Squirrel in the same jungle?

Boris: We could, but I have something else in mind.

Natasha: What are you thinking of dollink?

Boris: We could use this place as our very own vacation spot! The scenery is great, and we will get a break for a change.

Natasha: But what about Fearless Leader?

Boris: He's busy with the appointment Mr. Big. They'll never notice that we left. In fact, we could try to return before they even notice.

Natasha: That's a wonderful idea, dollink!

Boris: Our adventure would be called, "Boris Badenov's Day Off".

Natasha: No, it should be, "Boris and Natasha's Day Off".

Boris: All right, we should leave right away.

Narrator: The dastardly duo head for the coastline. But they find something that is very shocking...

Boris and Natasha: Moose and Squirrel?

Rocky: Hokey Smoke!

Narrator: It turns out that Rocky and his friends and the no-goodniks are on the same island! Will our heroes escape from the scheming spies? And what is the new secret formula capable of? Stay tuned for, "Boris and Natasha's Day Off" or "The Moose who Knew too Little".


	3. Snidely Crosses the Line

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle, and Dudley Do-Right are owned by Jay Ward Productions.**

**Snidely Crosses the Line (Dudley Do-Right of the Mounties)**

Narrator: At the close of the nineteenth century, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police was always alert and ready for action. A great example would be none other than Dudley Do-Right, who is busy performing the heroic act of-

Dudley is carrying a picnic basket.

Narrator: -going on a picnic?

Dudley: I sure am, Mr. Narrator! I'm going on a picnic with Nell.

Nell Fenwick: Dudley, where is your horse?

Dudley: He is busy carrying the blueberry pie.

Narrator: Horse shows up without the pie, and he has blueberry jam on his nose. Horse is either doing a very good Franz Marc impersonation, or he ate all the pie. Let's see if Dudley figures it out.

Dudley: Horse, did you eat the pie?

Horse: *shakes his head*

Dudley: Oh, you didn't eat it. All right then, let's have our picni-

Inspector Fenwick: Dudley Do-Right, what are you doing?

Dudley: I think it is quite evident that Nell and I are going on a picnic. Sir, are your glasses broken?

Inspector: I can see what you're doing, you twit. What I want to know is why you aren't looking for that scheming scoundrel, Snidely Whiplash.

Nell: Father, wasn't Snidely Whiplash arrested recently?

Inspector: Yes, but he escaped. Again. Do-Right, it is your duty as a member of the Mounted Police to arrest him.

Dudley: Don't worry, sir. I'm always on duty!

Dudley hops on Horse and runs over the inspector when riding further into the woods.

Inspector: Ow! Why did I hire him, why?

* * *

Narrator: Meanwhile, Snidely Whiplash is lurking in the deep forest and spying on our brave Mountie. He is accompanied by one of his henchman.

Snidely Whiplash: Stokey the Bear was fired earlier.

Narrator: Instead of the pyromaniac bear, his henchman is the one that wears a stereotypical Canadian tuque.

Snidely: I have the perfect plan to get rid of that meddling Mountie once and for all!

Henchman: That's what you said last time.

Snidely: Yes, but this time will surely be different.

Henchman: Yeah, right.

Snidely: Eh, you're just jealous of my famous career as a villain. And my moustache.

* * *

Narrator: Snidely and his lackey cleverly stalk the Mountie by hiding behind a thin tree.

Horse: *neighs*

Dudley: What's wrong, Horse?

Horse stares at the tree, and attempts to point out the villains' location.

Dudley: Hmm, that tree looks very peculiar. But it's probably nothing. Horse, you are being overly cautious.

Horse: *snorts at Dudley*

Dudley ignores Horse's warning and the villains go undetected.

Snidely: That was close.

Henchman: Ya know, I just realized somethin'. The reason why you get away so much is because your enemy is an idiot.

Snidely: I knew that for years.

* * *

Narrator: After making sure Dudley is really that clueless and went somewhere else, Snidely and the henchman get out of their hiding places.

Henchman: So, Snidely, what are ya gonna do this time?

Snidely: What I am going to do is-

Dudley: Come on, Horse, let's find that missing pie!

Narrator: Just as the head villain is going to explain his new evil scheme, Dudley rides back to look for the pie that Horse obviously ate at the picnic. The picnic is delayed when he "cleverly" notices the dastardly duo.

Dudley: Aha! I knew I was being followed all along.

Horse: *shakes his head in disbelief*

Dudley: I will arrest you, Snidely Whiplash and- what's your henchman's name?

Snidely: His name is, uh... you know, I have no idea.

Henchman: Hey!

Snidely: Well, you seem to have different names all the time. I've had henchmen named Bruno, Homer, and Rollo. All right, I'll just use one of your multitude of names. Rollo is kind of weird, and Homer could get us in a lawsuit, so I guess your name's Bruno.

Bruno: That makes sense.

* * *

Dudley is riding after Snidely and Bruno.

Dudley: Stop, in the name in the law! I knew you fiends stole my blueberry pie and my pic-a-nic baskets!

Bruno: What's he talking about?

Snidely: I have no idea. Do-Right, I believe you must be mistaken. We weren't planning to steal your pie, or your pic-a-nic baskets. We were planning to kill you and tie Nell Fenwick to the railroad tracks.

Dudley: That doesn't sound overtly fiendish. Please excuse me for my rude interruption. Good day, gentlemen.

Horse: *snorts at Dudley*

Dudley: That's right, we have to stop them before they harm Nell! It's a good thing I remembered.

Horse: *snorts*

Narrator: The brave Mountie and steed continue their pursuit, but the villains used this time to run far away from them. In fact, Snidely and Bruno are literally one step away from crossing the border of Niagara Falls.

Dudley: Oh, no! you wouldn't dare cross the border!

Snidely: Just watch me.

He steps across the border, which is represented by a line.

Snidely: I wouldn't be surprised if they drew it on with magic markers.

Dudley: Oh, fudge! Now I can't arrest you.

Snidely: Correct, you cretinous constable. Now that I have moved from Canada to the United States, it is illegal for you to apprehend me.

Bruno: Haha, you show em', Snidely! There's no way he can get us now!

Snidely: But you're still in Canada.

Bruno: I am?

Narrator: Unfortunately for Bruno, he forgot to cross the border, which means our brave Mountie can legally apprehend the henchman.

Snidely: I think you know what to do.

Bruno: Sure do, boss!

He attempts to cross the border, but he runs into a tree.

Snidely: ...Why do I even bother with hiring henchmen?

* * *

Narrator: Dudley was able to arrest Bruno, but Snidely was off limits to him because of the border laws.

Inspector: Ah, I see you have captured a Canadian criminal.

Nell: You are my hero!

Dudley: Why, thank you, Nell-

She hugs his horse.

Horse: *neighs*

Bruno: He didn't arrest my boss, Snidely Whiplash.

Inspector: Really? Do-Right, can you explain why you didn't apprehend that melodramatic villain?

Dudley: He crossed the border.

Inspector: What?

Dudley: I said that he crossed the border. You might need to get your hearing checked, too.

Inspector: I heard you, but I can't believe you let him get away with this.

Dudley: It's true. I can show you if you want.

* * *

Narrator: The inspector follows Dudley to the border. They are both in for a shock. Snidely Whiplash is not only mockingly close to the poorly thought out border, but he also built a house there.

Inspector: I say, how could you build a house that fast?

Snidely: Mr. Fenwick, I can assure you that I worked on my new living quarters for at least a week.

Inspector: Really? But that can only mean we were lost in the Canadian wilderness for a week!

The inspector stares at Dudley.

Dudley: Uh, sorry, sir. I guess my sense of direction needs a little work...

Narrator: Snidely, safe from a potential arrest, demonstrates his freedom by poking Dudley with a stick.

*poke*

Dudley: Hey! That is very disrespectful to dignified Mounties such as myself.

Snidely: Nyahahaha! "Dignified". Yeah, sure you are.

Dudley: I resent that!

Inspector: He right, Dudley.

Snidely: Even your boss agrees with me.

Dudley: We'll see about that!

* * *

Narrator: And so, Dudley Do-Right is determined to apprehend the border hopping, melodramatic villain.

Dudley: He assaulted me with a dangerous weapon.

Snidely: A dangerous weapon? Oh, come on! It was a stick!

Dudley: You could have poked my eye out. As you know, running with sticks can result in serious injury.

Snidely: Don't you mean running with scissors?

Dudley: You ran with scissors, too? Oh, you fiend!

Narrator: He's really determined now.

Dudley: I must stop him before he endangers any civilians!

The constable finds a stick.

Snidely: You're being a hypocrite.

Dudley: I can use this stick to pull him across the border.

Narrator: Unfortunately for our moronic Mountie, his plan is not going to work. He found a very tiny stick that is too small to reach the border.

Dudley: Uh, can you get a little closer?

Snidely: Nah, I don't feel like it. See you later, Do-Right.

Narrator: Snidely gets bored and goes into his new house.

Dudley: Come back here, you coward!

Narrator: Obviously, Dudley's first idea didn't work. The Mountie's next idea is to lure him back to Canada with some bait.

Dudley: I have free candy!

Snidely: Free candy?

He runs across and grabs the candy.

Snidely: Thanks, Do-Right old pal!

He rushes back to the United States.

Dudley: ...For some reason, I think I forgot to do something.

Narrator: Dudley ponders about this for a good hour and a half.

Dudley: Oh, I know! I forgot to bring some brownies.

Narrator: You forgot to arrest him. Idiot.

Dudley: It's a good thing I remembered.

* * *

Narrator: Eventually, he finally comes up with a somewhat viable plan.

Dudley: If I disguise myself as Nell, he will cross the line and tie me to the railroad tracks. Then I can arrest him.

Narrator: Do you have any backup?

Dudley: No, not really. But who needs backup when I have a brilliant plan like this one?

Narrator: Maybe you should reconsider-

Dudley: Can you please keep quiet? I can hear him exiting his house.

Narrator: He disguises himself as Nell Fenwick by using a Nell costume. Yes, apparently there is such thing as a Nell costume for some reason.

"Nell": *in a fake falsetto voice* Hello, Snidely Whiplash.

Snidely: Do you really think I'm that stupid? I know it's you, Do-Right.

"Nell": How did you know?

Snidely: That disguise was used in the episode about my addiction to railroad tracks. And your falsetto is horrid.

Dudley: Oh, curses! Foiled again!

Snidely: Hey, that's my line! I'll get you for this!

He crosses the border, kidnaps "Nell", and ties his future victim to the railroad tracks.

Snidely: Are you prepared for your impending doom, Do-Right?

Dudley: I think you are mistaken, for you are now in Canada.

Snidely: So?

Dudley: It is now legal for me to make an arrest.

Snidely: Oh, no! How right you are. I am most certainly vulnerable to my inevitable incarceration.

Dudley: I don't know what that means, but you have the right to remain silent.

Snidely: I had no idea that you're so intimidating.

Dudley: I am?

Snidely: Yes, especially with those ropes tied around you so you can't even move, let alone use handcuffs.

Dudley: That is very flattering.

Snidely: It sure is.

Dudley: Huh?

Narrator: Since Dudley decided to carry out his plan by himself, he is unable to free himself of the ropes. As a result, he is "flattered" by an incoming train.

Dudley: Yeowch!

Snidely: Nyahahahaha! You're as flat as pancake.

Dudley: That's a great idea, Snidely! The next time I go on a picnic with Nell, I'll bring some pancakes.

Snidely: That felt great. I didn't get to tie someone to the railroad tracks for a while.

Narrator: Nell is walking in the forest with Horse, and she notices the crushed constable.

Nell: All you all right, Dudley?

Dudley: I think so, but I'm feeling kind of flat.

Snidely: Aha, another victim...

Narrator: He attempts to tie Nell to the railroad tracks for the 120th time-

Snidely: This week.

Narrator: -but Nell and Horse manage to tie him up.

Dudley: Once again I saved the day!

Narrator: Actually, this time it was Nell and Horse.

Dudley: Oh, curses! Foiled again-

Snidely: That's my line!

**The End**


	4. Mr Peabody, Easter Island

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle, and Mr. Peabody are owned by Jay Ward Productions.**

Rocky: And now-

Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!

Rocky: But Mr. Peabody and Sherman were planning to go to Easter Island.

Bullwinkle: Why? Are there giant Easter eggs there or something?

Rocky: Um, no. Mr Peabody said they were going to see the head statues.

Bullwinkle: I think that can wait. It's not like they're going anywhere. Now, where was I... there's nothing up my sleeve, and... presto!

He pulls an Easter Island head out of his hat.

Bullwinkle: Wrong-

He is squished by the heavy statue.

*SQUISH*

Bullwinkle: -hat.

Rocky: And now here's something we hope you'll really like.

**Easter Island (Peabody's Improbable History)**

Mr. Peabody: Hello, everyone. Peabody here. When people think of Easter Island, they often recall the multitude of fascinating Moai figures that can be exclusively found there.

Sherman: Mr. Peabody, what are Moai?

Mr. Peabody: They are the stone heads, Sherman.

Sherman: Really? I guess they must be a bunch of hard heads.

Mr. Peabody: Quiet, you.

* * *

Peabody Narrating: Sherman set the WAYBAC machine for Easter Island, Chile, in the thirteenth century.

Sherman: We have a good view of the island, that's for sure.

Mr. Peabody: Indeed. This is most likely because we are standing on a Moai statue.

Sherman: You mean we're taking a stand?

Mr. Peabody: Quiet, you.

Peabody Narrating: We had very important plans for this expedition.

Mr Peabody: Sherman, did you bring the supplies?

Sherman: I sure did, Mr. Peabody! Can you dance around like an Easter Bunny or something?

Mr. Peabody: Hmph! Of course not.

Sherman: Please?

Mr. Peabody: Sorry, but no. I'm not a very good dancer or an Easter Beagle.

Peabody Narrating: You are most likely wondering why we brought these supplies. Well, since we were located in Easter Island, it made perfect sense to go on an Easter egg hunt. However, this would be a late celebration. We were unable to actually try this on Easter because I had to install security for my laboratory in order to prevent Stokey the Bear from starting another fire. Of course, this reason is most likely an excuse for a lazy writer...

Sherman: Mr. Peabody, one of the statues just moved!

Mr Peabody: That is ridiculous, impossible-

He notices that one of the statues is missing.

Mr. Peabody: -Surely there is a logical explanation for this phenomenon.

Peabody Narrating: We searched for the missing monuments, and eventually noticed that they were over a small hill overlooking the sea. Therefore, it was fairly evident that one of the statues fell in the ocean. Since this could potentially alter the course of history, Sherman and I decided to retrieve the statues.

Sherman: How are we going to do that?

Mr. Peabody: That's easy. We'll dive underwater.

Sherman: But we didn't bring any scuba gear.

Mr. Peabody: There's no need for that. All we have to do use grass reeds as snorkels.

* * *

Peabody Narrating: As I hypothesized, this illogical method that usually doesn't work happened to work perfectly. Our underwater expedition led us to an incredible discovery.

Mr. Peabody: Egad! We have found the rumoured, lost sunken continent of Mu!

Sherman: You mean Atlantis.

Mr. Peabody: There are more lost empires than Atlantis, you know. Actually, it's called Mu.

Sherman: So you're saying this place is inhabited by underwater cows?

Mr. Peabody: ...Er, no.

Peabody Narrating: All right, now that Sherman and I have found the missing Moai, it was our duty as time travellers to retrieve it. We slowly rolled the heavy statue to the surface.

Sherman: That must be one of the local residents.

Underwater Cow: Hi, welcome to the the lost continent of Mu.

There is a nearby sign that says Mu, and Moo is crossed out.

Sherman: You were wrong, Mr. Peabody.

Mr. Peabody: Quiet, you.

* * *

Peabody Narrating: Eventually we were able to return the Moai statue to its original place.

Sherman: It's great that we finally got to go to Easter Island. And we saved the course of history.

Mr. Peabody: Indeed. If the the course of history is altered, then it is likely that heads will roll.

**The End**

Rocky: The next episode will be "Boris and Natasha's Day Off"**.  
**


	5. Boris and Natasha's Day Off

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.**

**Boris and Natasha's Day Off or The Moose who Knew too Little  
**

Narrator: The island of Moosylvania is being ravaged by a rainstorm.

Bullwinkle: I wouldn't say ravaged. The rainstorm isn't really that bad.

He hears thunder and lightning.

Narrator: All right, now your island is being ravaged by a thunderstorm. But thunder and lightning aren't the only potential dangers our heroes have to worry about.

Natasha: We have found Moose and Squirrel!

Boris: And now we are going to keel them!

Narrator: You guessed it. Our heroes and no-goodniks are on the same island! That's pretty shocking, right? Haha. "Shocking". Get it?

Everyone rolls their eyes.

Narrator: ...Fine. Be that way.

* * *

Rocky: I knew you were trying to invade Moosylvania!

Natasha: Moosylvania? What are you talking about?

Edgar: It's pretty obvious that we're in Moosylvania. There's the governor.

Bullwinkle: Hello there, fellow Moosylvanians!

Boris: Oh, no! _You're_ the governor of this place?

Bullwinkle: I sure am! After all, it is called Moosylvania.

Chauncey: So what are you two going to do to us?

Boris: We are going to blow all of you sky high with explosives!

Natasha: Boris dollink, we didn't bring any explosives when we ran off to take a vacation.

Boris: Raskolnikov! I guess we'll have to retreat. For now...

Narrator: I don't now if they're conspiring a new way to eliminate our heroes or if they just want to take a vacation. Either way, even though the dastardly duo appeared to retreat, they'll have to watch out.

Bullwinkle: And them taking a vacation would be bad for us because...?

Edgar: Fearless Leader never gives anyone days off. Unless he "fires" them.

Rocky: He might follow them here, find out that we're on the island as well, and try to kill us.

Bullwinkle: Really? I can't allow that. It would be bad for tourism.

Narrator: While the governor's "advisers" try to get his prioritizes straightened out, Boris and Natasha are spying on them as usual.

Natasha: I have to admit, even though Moose is stupid, he really likes his island.

Boris: Yeah, with all the tourism stuff... wait a minute, that's it! I know exactly how we can keel Moose and Squirrel, and take a vacation at the same time!

Natasha: You are a genius, dollink!

* * *

Narrator: While Boris and Natasha set up a tourist trap, Fearless Leader is smart enough to notice that they are obviously missing.

Fearless Leader: Where are Badenov and Fatale? I need test subjects for my new secret formula!

Narrator: When searching for his comrades, he notices two cardboard cutouts.

Fearless Leader: That's them all right.

Narrator: On closer inspection, the standees are rather crude stick figures of the dastardly duo. After thoroughly cleaning his monocle, he assesses the situation.

Fearless Leader: Do those dummkopfs honestly think they can go AWOL and outsmart me? After all, I am their Fearless Leader.

He storms off and continues his search.

Fearless Leader: No wonder Boris and Natasha screwed up their mission in "Painting Theft". They wouldn't know art if it bit them in the-

* * *

Narrator: You can probably figure out what he said next. What are the capabilities of the new secret formula? What is Boris and Natasha's tourist trap? And what will Fearless Leader do when he finds the slacker spies? Stay tuned for "Cruise Control" or "Lord of the Spies"


	6. Lord of the Spies

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.**

**Cruise Control or Lord of the Spies**

Narrator: Our heroes managed to deal with no-goodniks Boris and Natasha when the dastardly duo ran off to come up with a plan to "keel Moose and Squirrel". So far they have got out of every predicament by being very lucky. However, since it is known that the no-goodniks and their Fearless Leader are attempting yet another invasion of Moosylvania, they'll have to be careful.

Edgar: There's something you don't see every day, Chauncey.

Chauncey: What's that, Edgar?

Edgar: Tourism in Moosylvania.

Bullwinkle: Gosh, my country has my first tourist!

Narrator: At the beach, our gullible governor welcomes the first tourist to his country ever. And he owned this island for many years, too. Sad, I know.

Bullwinkle: Greetings, Mr. Tourist!

"Tourist": Hello. I am a friendly, not evil tourist.

Rocky: You look kind of familiar.

Boris: Do I look like Boris Badenov to you?

Rocky: Yes, I- wait a minute, how do you know who I was thinking of?

Boris: I, uh... guessed?

Bullwinkle: Sounds legit to me.

Rocky: If you're a "tourist", why are you at the beach when it's raining?

Boris: ...You know, that is a very good question, Squirrel!

Rocky: I knew it! You're Boris Badenov!

Boris: Fine, you win. I should have used a better disguise, but all I had was a typical Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and a camera.

He takes a picture of Bullwinkle and Rocky.

Boris: See you later, Moose and Squirrel!

He runs off into the trees.

Rocky: That was weird. Usually he tries to kill us. What is he up to now?

* * *

Natasha: Did you get the picture, dollink?

Boris: Of course I understand the plan. I thought of it in the first place.

Natasha: I was talking about the photograph of Moose and Squirrel.

Boris: Oh, right. They are very gullible. When we show this to Fearless Leader, he will give us a raise for sure!

Fearless Leader: Are you implying that I am gullible, Badenov?

Natasha: Fearless Leader? How did you find us skipping work- uh, trying to invade Moosylvania?

Fearless Leader: I was not fooled by the cardboard cutout standees.

Boris: I thought we did a good job on those-

Fearless Leader: Get back to work!

Boris: Fearless Leader, have you seen our schedule recently?

Boris and Natasha get out a large calendar. Fearless Leader reads it.

Fearless Leader: "Today- Keel Moose and Squirrel. Tomorrow- Keel Moose and Squirrel. Next week- Keel Moose and Squirrel."

He flips through the calendar pages.

Fearless Leader: Your plans say "Keel Moose and Squirrel" through the whole calendar.

Natasha: You always order us to kill Moose and Squirrel.

Fearless Leader: Obviously.

Boris: We don't have any vacations planned. So we thought we'd take a day off and get rid of them later.

Fearless Leader: You two should know me by now. I _never _give days off. Now get rid of Moose and Squirrel before I arrest and shoot you!

Boris and Natasha run off. He throws away the calendar.

Fearless Leader: And learn how to spell!

* * *

Narrator: Motivated by their boss to "keel" Moose and Squirrel, and improve their spelling, Boris and Natasha once again pursue our heroes.

Bullwinkle: What are they gonna do? Send a Jaguaro after us?

Rocky: A what? For some reason it sounds like a mystery to solve.

Bullwinkle: Think we should split up to look for clues?

Rocky: With Boris and Natasha on the island, splitting up right now isn't exactly a good idea.

Bullwinkle: Chauncey and Edgar split up somewhere earlier. They're out searching for the elusive Jaguaro.

* * *

Narrator: Somehow I doubt it. They're really trying to get out of the rain.

Edgar: Good Grief!

Chauncey: We're stranded on a jungle island with psychotic villains, a goofy governor who can't protect us from said villains, and Captain Peachfuzz.

Edgar: Not Captain Peachfuzz...

* * *

Narrator: The unwilling castaways are right. Judging by the overgrown plants everywhere that makes this place look like a jungle, the municipally inexperienced moose hasn't really gotten the hang of learning how to manage his own island. Or his guests and tourists. In fact, Bullwinkle can't even seem to save himself because Rocky and himself are once again faced by Boris and Natasha. And this time they are captured!

Boris: Hahahaha! You won't escape us this time, Moose and Squirrel! This is a pirate raid!

Bullwinkle: But you're not pirates.

Natasha: That won't stop us from making you walk the plank.

Rocky: What plank?

Narrator: The pseudo pirates have a wooded plank set up over water that is infested with sharks!

Rocky: Hokey Smoke!

Bullwinkle: You're overreacting to this.

Rocky: What_?_! But we're going to be eaten by sharks!

Bullwinkle: At least they didn't go crazy and chase us with pointy sticks.

Narrator: I'd still call them crazy, even if they don't have pointy sticks. Stay tuned for "The Fin Diver" or "The Sharkshank Redemption".


	7. The Fin Diver

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.**

**The Fin Diver or The Sharkshank Redemption**

Narrator: Our heroes' vacation in Moosylvania has gone haywire. They have been captured by Boris and Natasha, who are following Fearless Leader in his plot to invade the island. The isolation is making them act strange. This is evident because they're in pirate costumes and trying to make the Moose and Squirrel walk the plank.

Rocky: Boris and Natasha are always acting strange.

Bullwinkle: What are you crazy crooks up to this time?

Natasha: Didn't you hear what the narrator said? We are trying to invade your island.

Boris: And we're not crazy! You should be grateful that we didn't chase you with pointy sticks.

Bullwinkle: Rocky, I think we'd be better off being captured by a Jaguaro.

Boris: A what?

Rocky: It's a long story.

Narrator: Luckily the shipwrecked supporting characters, Edgar and Chauncey, are going to save the day! I hope.

Boris: Not if I can help it! I order you to walk off the plank into ye shark infested waters! Arrr!

He shoves the tied up duo off the plank.

Boris: How was my pirate impression, Natasha?

Natasha: Fearless Leader will be proud, dollink.

Narrator: The crazy crooks' even crazier general happens to show up.

Fearless Leader: Proud? Bah! You sound as intimidating as Captain Peachfuzz. And where is your parrot?

Boris: I left it at the cleaners?

* * *

Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Pottsylvanian laundromat...

A parrot is in a washing machine.

Boris's Pet Parrot: Squawk! Polly want a Moose and Squirrel!

Narrator: ...And now back to our story.

* * *

Natasha: Moose and Squirrel are now shark bait.

Fearless Leader: If Moose and Squirrel really fell into the shark infested waters, shouldn't there at least be a splash sound effect?

Boris: ...Budget cuts?

Fearless Leader: Don't give me any stupid excuses. We have enough money to afford sound effects.

Boris: Aw, phooey! I sure it would convince you...

Fearless Leader: Badenov, you dummkopf!

Natasha: If they didn't fall in the ocean, then what happened to Moose and Squirrel?

* * *

Narrator: That's a good question. Actually the moose and squirrel luckily got caught on a tree branch on the side of the cliff.

Rocky: That was close.

Bullwinkle: A little bit too close if ya ask me.

Rocky: Really? Why?

A shark jumps out of the water and snaps at them.

Bullwinkle: Does that answer you question?

Narrator: After untying the ropes, they carefully climb down the tree and are on the narrow ridge. They'll have to carefully move to safer ground.

Rocky: Or I could just fly to safety.

Narrator: I guess that would work, too.

Narrator: He picks up Bullwinkle and flies to safety.

They land in an empty town near the island's shoreline. The is a sign that says "Welcome to Hornwallis".

Rocky: Your country has strange town names.

Bullwinkle: All to make this place unique to tourists. Say, speaking of tourists, I wonder what my first two tourists are up to...

* * *

Narrator: They're still on the cliff with a pirate plank.

Boris: Well, another good day is done.

Natasha: Yes, dollink. We keeled Moose and Squirrel.

Fearless Leader: I highly doubt that.

Boris: But Fearless Leader, you have been ordering us to keel Moose and Squirrel for a long time, and we finally did it!

Fearless Leader: I'm telling you, if you really "keeled" Moose and Squirrel, then why wasn't there a splash?

Boris: You want a splash? Fine. I'll give you a splash.

He jumps off the cliff into the water below.

*SPLASH*

Boris: There! Are you happy now?

Fearless Leader: I am satisfied.

Boris: Because I made the splash sound effect that you wanted?

Fearless Leader: No, because you are about to be chased by sharks. Heheheheheh...

Boris: Oh, no-

He is surrounded by sharks.

Boris: Raskolnikov!

Narrator: Boris frantically swims away from the sharks and reaches dry land. Natasha and Fearless Leader meet up with him at the shore, and they notice an almost deserted town. I'll bet you viewers know which one they're looking at.

Boris: A village that belongs to Moose!

Natasha: Why are you excited? Everything on this island belongs to Moose.

Boris: This cannon sure doesn't!

Narrator: It turns out that Boris hid a giant cannon behind a thicket.

Boris: We will use it to blow up and pillage the village. Arrr!

Fearless Leader: There goes your stupid pirate impression again...

Boris: Well, I happen to like my impression, and you can't stop me.

Fearless Leader: Oh, really? How about I make you walk off your own plank?

Boris: Okay, fine. You drive a hard bargain.

Narrator: Even with Boris's pirate impersonation out of the way, now a booming cannon is in the way of our heroes. To find out if they are unscathed, be sure to stay tuned for "Isle of the Dread" or "We had a Blast".


	8. Isle of the Dread

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.**

**Isle of the Dread or We Had a Blast**

Narrator: Rocky and Bullwinkle's latest vacation spot on the island of Moosylvania is the abandoned city of Hornwallis. While having an abandoned locale as a tourist spot is strange-

Bullwinkle: It isn't if you want to get away from it all.

Narrator: -If you say so. Technically all of the Moosylvania's towns and cities are empty. Like the governor's head.

Bullwinkle: Tell me something I don't know.

Narrator: All right. The baddies are outside the city limits and they're planning to have a blast here, if you know what I mean.

Bullwinkle: Sure do! The nice tourist folks are gonna liven this place up a bit with a party.

Rocky: I don't think that's exactly what he meant...

* * *

Narrator: Rocky's right. What I meant by a "blast" is that the baddies have a big cannon aimed at the city, and they're going to blow up the place to bits!

Boris: Hahahahaahahahaa! I know I'm going to have a blast. Right, comrades?

Fearless Leader: Jawohl.

Natasha: Yes, dollink.

Narrator: Bullwinkle actually thinks that you're throwing a party for him at his city.

Fearless Leader: Moose really thinks we are going to do _that_?

Natasha: Silly Moose.

Fearless Leader: Indeed. He should know better by now.

Boris: Yeah. We're going to crash his party, if you know what I mean!

Narrator: The Moose and Squirrel are aware of your plan since I told them.

Boris: Raskolnikov! Why did you tell them that, Meester Narrator?

Narrator: I'm not an evil narrator. If I was, you would have won a long time ago.

Boris: Well, phooey to you and your stupid niceness. I'm going to blow the place up anyway.

He lights the fuse on the cannon.

Boris: Cannonball!

* * *

Narrator: Boris, being the exuberant spy that he is, yells so loud that our heroes happen to hear him from inside the city of Hornwallis.

Bullwinkle: Did you hear that, Rocky?

Rocky: Hear what?

Bullwinkle: Someone said somethin' about a cannonball. You know what that means.

Rocky: Boris is going to blow up Hornwallis?

Bullwinkle: Nope. It means there's a high diving contest! If we hurry, we can enter and win first prize!

Narrator: He drags Rocky with him and dives off a nearby ridge into the sea below.

Bullwinkle: Cannonball!_!_!

*SPLASH*

Narrator: They're pretty lucky, because the cannonball hits right after they dive in.

*BOOM*

Narrator: It turns out that the city of Hornwallis had a rather flimsy economy, in that the buildings were made out of cardboard. Surprisingly the cannonball flew over the empty city and hit a mountain far off into the distance. Our empty headed hero and his pal are safe!

Rocky: Thanks, Bullwinkle! By misinterpreting a saying, you saved my life.

Bullwinkle: No problem, Rocky. So I guess you're gonna vote for me to continue being the governor in the next Moosylvanian election, huh?

Rocky: No one lives here. An election in Moosylvania wouldn't make any sense.

Bullwinkle: Well, I still have to campaign. Maybe the friendly tourists will vote for me.

Rocky: That's not very likely to happen.

* * *

Narrator: The "friendly tourists" have no idea that our heroes have evaded their not so friendly fire.

Boris: Yeah! We finally did it!

Natasha: We finally killed Moose and Squirrel!

Fearless Leader: I'm not so sure...

Boris: Why not? There was a sound effect this time.

Fearless Leader: Sorry, Badenov und Fatale, but I highly doubt you're competent enough to actually do something useful.

Natasha: There is a first time for everything, dollink.

Boris: She's right. I think you should relax and celebrate with us, boss. Have a beer or something.

Narrator: That wouldn't be very appropriate. Especially if you three have too much-

Boris: Phooey to you and your stupid niceness!

* * *

Narrator: Bullwinkle's favourite tourists celebrate their "victory" by having a hopefully non alcoholic celebration. Coincidentally, the actually alive governor of Moosylvania and his accomplice happen to inadvertently crash their party.

Bullwinkle: Did ya hear that, Rocky? We're gonna have a party after all!

Rocky: Well, there are some familiar people over there. The short pale guy looks really familiar.

Bullwinkle: Yeah, it's like we saw him a few episodes ago. Uh, I recognize the short pale guy in the red Hawaiian shirt and pants, but who are the other two?

Narrator: In addition to Boris the Tourist, they see a woman in a tropical dress with a Pottsylvania Creeper floral pattern, and a thin man with a monocle wearing a green shirt and Bermuda shorts. They're all out in the sun, now that it has finally stopped raining, in folding beach chairs.

Bullwinkle: Oh, boy! More tourists in my country!

Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader: Moose and Squirrel!_?_

They simultaneously fall out of their folding chairs.

Fearless Leader: Not you two! Boris and Natasha had me nearly convinced that you went up in smoke!

Natasha: Dollink, ve can explain...

Fearless Leader: No excuses! You are a bunch of no good liars!

Boris: Please don't keel us, boss!

Fearless Leader: Keel you? Don't be stupid. It is very impressive for you nitwits to almost outsmart me, a genius, for once.

Boris: We had no idea- oh... all right.

Fearless Leader: Now go capture Moose und Squirrel while I change back into my uniform. I can't let our arch enemies see me like this...

Fearless Leader goes off somewhere to change into his uniform. Boris and Natasha follows his orders by getting up to look for Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Boris: Haha! Fearless Leader actually thinks we're somewhat intelligent!

Natasha: He probably doesn't. And Moose and Squirrel most likely escaped by now.

Boris: No, they didn't. Look over there!

Narrator: Sure enough, Bullwinkle was actually stupid enough to hang around, and he dragged Rocky with him to a small refreshment table.

Rocky: Bullwinkle, we should have ran away by now.

Bullwinkle: And miss the free drinks?

Narrator: I hope the refreshments aren't what I think it is...

Boris: Moose is drinking our Mooseberry soda! Get them!

Bullwinkle: Huh?

Narrator: Phew. At least it's just soda.

Boris: You wouldn't shaddup your mouth about it.

Narrator: Sorry... wait a minute, our heroes have been kidnapped!

* * *

Narrator: What happened to our heroic island owners? Well, apparently they're tied up and hanging upside down.

Boris: Now you party crashers are hanging around.

Natasha: Nice pun, dollink.

Fearless Leader: Ah, so there they are.

Boris: Uh, boss, now that you changed into your uniform, can Natasha and I put on our pirate disguises from the previous episode? I have a great impression-

Fearless Leader: If you do your "pirate impression" again, I will personally ensure that you are keelhauled.

Boris: ...Never mind.

Bullwinkle: Now all of my tourist friends are together again! Is this some kind of Moosylvania custom that I never heard of?

Fearless Leader: I'm not a tourist, you moronic moose! I am the self elected governor of Pottsylvania, and Moosylvania is next on my list.

Bullwinkle: Oh, okay. Hey, isn't it customary in some places to bow to the governor or something?

Fearless Leader: Jawohl.

Bullwinkle: Huh?

Fearless Leader: Jawohl means yes.

Bullwinkle: Can you do a bow then?

Fearless Leader: No. I have weak knees.

Bullwinkle: Really? Why?

Fearless Leader: You're familiar with the Wossamotta U episodes, right?

Bullwinkle: Yeah.

Fearless Leader: I had to lead the Pottsylvanian football team even though the sport is stupid.

Bullwinkle: I'm an expert at that sport!

Fearless Leader: I know. And I'm not surprised.

Bullwinkle: How'd you get hurt without playing it?

Fearless Leader: Ever get tackled by 500 pound football players?

Bullwinkle: No.

Fearless Leader: That's why. Now give me the right to own Moosylvania or else! You may start with the city you were just in.

Bullwinkle: So you're saying I should surrender Hornwallis? This sounds familiar for some reason...

Narrator: While Bullwinkle ponders the fate of his economically valauble cardboard city, the weight of the four-hundred pound moose eventually causes his rope to snap in two. He plummets a staggering height of three feet to the ground.

*thud*

Bullwinkle: Not very staggering if ya ask me.

Rocky: Hurry, Bullwinkle! Untie me so we can get out of here.

Bullwinkle: Okay, but leaving so soon is kinda impolite.

* * *

Narrator: After being untied, the party crashers run down an unkempt path. In order to continue down the path, they will have to walk across a bridge so rickety that it looks like it's made of bones. It is also high up above a lagoon full of perilous pointy rocks and whirlpools!

Rocky: Do we have to?

There are several cracking sounds.

Bullwinkle: Looks safe to me.

They start to cross the bridge.

Rocky: All those cracking sounds...

Bullwinkle: Stop worrying. It just needs some fixin' up, and maybe a chiropractor or two.

*crack*

Bullwinkle: Or maybe three?

Narrator: The three villains have just spotted our heroes.

Fearless Leader: We must follow them on the makeshift Musou Tsuribashi Bridge! Let's go!

Boris and Natasha: Do we have to?

Fearless Leader: Yes. Now mach schnell!

Boris: But I can't go on that thing! I'm too heavy...

Fearless Leader: No excuses, Badenov.

Boris: Aw, phooey!

Narrator: Will our good and evil stars make it across the rickety bridge? Stay tuned for "A Spine Tingler" or "The Bridge of the River Die".


	9. The Bridge of the River Die

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.**

**A Spine Tingler or The Bridge of the River Die  
**

Narrator: The result of our stars' cliffhanger is a real spine tingler this time. The Moose and Squirrel are being pursued by the terrible trio across a bridge in the Moosylvanian wilderness. The bridge is so rickety that it resembles a bony spine.

Boris: I'm not so sure about this boss. I think we're going a bridge too far...

Fearless Leader: Shut up, you spineless coward!

Narrator: If they fall off, there's a scenic lagoon filled with pointy rocks waiting for them.

Natasha: I feel safer already.

Bullwinkle: Well, at least we can enjoy the scenery. Right, Rocky?

Rocky: I guess... but what if we drown?

Bullwinkle: We could drown? Oh, no! We're doomed for sure!

Boris: That is exactly what I was going to say! Moose, if we survive this ordeal, I will keel you for saying it first.

Bullwinkle: And if we don't?

Boris: I'll keel you anyway. What else?

Narrator: While Bullwinkle and Boris chew up the scenery, Rocky finds a way to escape. Being a flying squirrel, he simply flies off the bridge. Then he uses some of the overgrown grass to tie down the bridge and keep it from crumbling. Bullwinkle and the baddies hurry across just in case.

Bullwinkle: Phew. Sorry about my panicking. I guess I was getting a sense of vertigo there.

Fearless Leader: You weren't the only one. Right, Boris?

Boris: Eheheh... yeah, I guess so.

Rocky: You're not going to invade my friend's island! He claimed it fair and square.

Fearless Leader: You are misunderstanding my intentions. This time I was thinking we could make a compromise.

Bullwinkle is confused and he tilts his head.

Bullwinkle: A what now?

Fearless Leader: A deal.

Natasha: A deal?

Boris anxiously tugs on his boss's uniform.

Boris: With Moose and Squirrel? Are you crazy? Or at least crazier than usual?

Fearless Leader: *whispers to Boris and Natasha* Play along or else. I'm trying to con them into giving this place to us.

Boris and Natasha: *grumble* Oh, all right.

Narrator: The politically empowered moose will have to think about this "deal".

Bullwinkle: But thinking can be kinda difficult-

Fearless Leader: All right. Squirrel and I can think this plan over for you.

Rocky: I'm listening, but I really doubt I'll agree with you.

Fearless Leader: I have noticed that the governor-

Bullwinkle: Ooh, that's me!

Fearless Leader: -yes you are. I noticed that you want Moosylvania to have good tourism. With help from me und my trusty spies, we can get Moosylvania to be booming in tourism! There would be tourist attractions, swimming pools, parades, hotels, you name it.

Bullwinkle: Ukuleles?

Fearless Leader: Er, what?

Rocky: Bullwinkle loves to play the ukulele.

Bullwinkle: I'm an expert don't you know.

Boris: *grumbles* No, he isn't.

Fearless Leader: ...All right. I'll use ear plugs if I have to, but you can have your ukulele.

Bullwinkle: Sounds like a good deal!

Rocky: Are you sure about this, Bullwinkle? This guy is known for being a big liar. It's as clear as the scar on his face.

Bullwinkle: Hmm, he does have one heck of an ugly scar-

Fearless Leader: I resent that!

Bullwinkle: -sorry.

Narrator: It seems that Bullwinkle is agreeing to comply with their deal. Will the bad guys actually help out the well meaning yet very gullible governor, and make his country of Moosylvania famous? I doubt it, but to find out, make sure to stay tuned for "Tycoon Lagoon" or "Scars in their Eyes".


	10. Tycoon Lagoon

**Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.**

**Tycoon Lagoon or Scars in their Eyes  
**

Narrator: Our heroes' vacation in Moosylvania has turned from dangerous to... somewhat promising?

Bullwinkle: It sure is! And this is all thanks to my pal, Rocky, and my three new friends.

Narrator: Apparently Fearless Leader and his cronies, Boris and Natasha, are somehow Bullwinkle's "three new friends".

Bullwinkle: Yep. So is anyone up for some beach ball or tennis or somethin'?

Boris: Can Natasha and I use your head as the ball?

Natasha: Or maybe a bomb?

Bullwinkle: Uh, no.

Boris: Aw, phooey!

Fearless Leader: Moose, if you want island tourism, we have some important work to do.

Rocky: I agree with Fearless Leader. Wow, that felt really weird...

Natasha: You'll get used to it after a while, Squirrel.

Rocky: I doubt it.

Boris suddenly thinks of an idea and raises his hand.

Boris: I think we should open up a gambling district!

Bullwinkle: I dunno... that idea sounds kind of risky.

Boris: Well, it's gambling. What else do you expect?

* * *

Narrator: Eventually they all agree on a sure fire way to attract some tourists. Okay, so maybe Boris didn't agree...

Boris is at a murky lagoon under the rickety bridge from the previous segment. He is complaining while holding a monster costume that has somewhat amphibious appearance.

Boris: Aw, come on, Fearless Leader. Do I really have to go in _there_? And in this creature feature suit?

Fearless Leader: Jawohl. We need somevun to be the Creature of the Lurky Lagoon. You're the only vun who is small enough to fit in the costume.

Boris: _Small enough_? That doesn't even make any sense. You're thinner than me.

Fearless Leader: Yes, but I'm much taller than you.

Boris: All right, but what about Squirrel? He ees the same size as me. Make _him_ suffer instead!

Fearless Leader: I can't, Badenov. Besides Squirrel, look at who else we have to deal with here.

Bullwinkle excitedly rushes in with his ukulele.

Bullwinkle: Hi, fellas!

He proceeds to fall in a patch of oddly tinted leaves.

Bullwinkle: Heh, I guess I slipped... wait, why do I feel itchy all of a sudden?

Narrator: You fell in poison ivy.

Bullwinkle: Oh, okay- aaaahhh, it itches_!_!

Fearless Leader: See what I mean, Boris?

Boris: All right, you win, boss... but I'd much rather be a pirate.

Narrator: Boris immediately gets out a pirate hat and eye patch. Of course, his pet parrot is still at the Pottsylvanian laundromat, but at least he's trying.

Boris: Arrrr! Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of-

Fearless Leader: Badenov, please. Stop that or else I will send you to Davy Jones' Locker, the Flying Dutchman, and a giant squid. Simultaneously.

Boris: Righto, matey... uh, sir...

Narrator: He grudgingly walks into the lagoon in the costume while muttering pirate phrases and expressions.

Natasha: Dollink, where is secret formula that you were talking about in previous segments?

Fearless Leader: Mr. Big probably has it.

Boris: But where ees Mr. Big?

Narrator: That's a very good question.

* * *

Narrator: Well, Mr. Big the pint sized minion is wandering around the island.

Mr. Big: All I have to do is give this secret formula to Fearless Leader... wherever he is.

Narrator: Suddenly, a comparatively giant sized pelican swoops down and scoops up the secret formula jar!

Pelican: *gulp*

Narrator: The curious bird roosts in a palm tree, where Mr. Big is unable to reach for the swiped secret formula as it is at such a vertigo inducing lofty height.

Mr. Big: Hey, you! Bird! Get that important invention out of your craw this instant!

Narrator: The pelican ignores the minion's orders and falls asleep. He attempts to climb up the tree while hoping that a tropical breeze doesn't blow him off.

Mr. Big: If only I could climb like Squirrel... or fly like him.

Narrator: After reaching the leaves of the palm tree, Mr. Big attempts to creep over to the bird and take the jar. His difficult balancing act is made even more harrowing when the pelican notices him.

Pelican: *squawks*

Mr. Big: Fear me, for I am the mighty Mr. Big-

The pelican scoops up Mr. Big in his beak.

Pelican: *gulp*

Mr. Big: Let me out this instant!

The pelican spits him out as well as the formula. He gets up and tips his hat.

Mr. Big: Thank you.

Pelican: S'alright.

* * *

Narrator: On another remote part of the island, the missing Edgar and Chauncey are trying to find a way out of here.

Chauncey: I'll try anything. Where do you think that silly sea captain is?

Edgar: Captain Peachfuzz? I'm not sure, but we're likely to get more help by sailing away on a piece of driftwood.

Chauncey: I guess so...

Edgar: You must be desperate to think of him, huh?

Chauncey: Yeah.

* * *

Narrator: Now that we know where our heroes' friends from Frostbite Falls are, let's see what Rocky and his friends, er, his friend and acquaintances, are up to.

Bullwinkle walks by while itching from the poison ivy.

Bullwinkle: I'm about six feet tall. At least I think so. Do my antlers count?

Rocky: Bullwinkle, that's not what he meant. The narrator wants to know what we're doing.

Bullwinkle: Government stuff.

Narrator: It looks more like you're doing nothing.

Bullwinkle: Exactly.

Narrator: Rocky hears some chattering in familiar voices.

Rocky: Those two are Natasha and Fearless Leader. I'm going to see what they're talking about.

Bullwinkle: All right. Let me know if they need my help as a professional governor.

Rocky: I'm sorry, but for some reason I doubt it. No offence.

Bullwinkle: None taken.

Narrator: The flying squirrel swoops up a tree to listen in on their conversation.

Fearless Leader: So we have all agreed on our decision, is that right?

Natasha: Da, dollink.

Fearless Leader: This will be the last deal that Moose will ever make.

Natasha: But what if we get caught? Mutiny is a very serious offence, and we would get arrested for breaking the law.

Fearless Leader: Yes, but remember, Natasha, we are in Moosylvania.

Natasha: Your point is...?

Fearless Leader: There are no laws!

Rocky: No laws_?_!

Narrator: Yes, that is correct. Bullwinkle's country of Moosylvania is so sparely inhabited that the governor never really bothered to set up any laws.

Rocky: I'm not feeling settled about this settlement...

Narrator: I'm sure their next "suggestions" will be very diabolical indeed. Be sure to stay tuned for our next episode, "Mutiny on the Moose" or "All the Ooze that's fit to Print".

Boris shows up in a pirate costume.

Boris: Is today International Talk like a Pirate Day?

Fearless Leader: I hope not.

Boris: Arrrrr! I be plundering Moose's island, an' sending 'im and his swabbie to walk the plank. And I be swiping your hat with the skull and crossbones on it, too.

Fearless Leader: Boris, what did I tell you about Davy Jones' Locker? And the Flying Dutchman? And himmel knows what else I made up to scare you?

Natasha: The giant squid?

Fearless Leader: Ja, ze giant schquid.

Boris: All right. I'll be good.

Natasha: You mean evil.

Boris: Yeah, sure.

He heads for the lagoon.

Fearless Leader: And no vun touches mein hat with the skull and crossbones! Or they will be walking the plank- oh, himmel, now he has me getting into this...

Narrator: Be sure to stay tuned for our next exciting segment, which may or may not have pirate references. See you soon.


End file.
